Here is a discussion about how to get rid o’ the blues.
What do you think about their solution(s)?
-DMR
Category Archives: stress
Ever had one of those days….
I hate days like that…..
Ever had one of those days….
I hate days like that…..
These gray and latter days….
I hate the gray of winter. I hate it I hate it I hate it. There is something about the color gray that is just evil. Neither black nor white nor color, it is a continual reminder of the mush of our lives, and of how one thing blends into another so much that you can’t tell the difference.
Life. Family. Work. Play. For many they are hard to tell apart. And the busier we get the more those lines become blurred and (ugh) gray. Add to that a little obsessive compulsive tendencies and the easy possibility of becoming overwhelmed, and you have a recipe for an interesting month.
Most pastors will tell you that December and January are when most of the family problems come to a head in the parish, and that it is the time when everyone’s difficulties rise to the surface. This, too, has the effect of graying and mushing everything together, especially for the pastor.
Pastors (all bravado notwithstanding) are generally compassionate people. Pastors have a tendency to put on a tough exterior more as a self-defense mechanism than anything else.
I’m not really good at mechanisms right now. I take everything personally when I am under stress, even things that aren’t directed at me. It drives me batty, which also makes me crazy.
So what do you do when life is gray, stress is high, and things are crashing in upon you? I’d like to hear from you.
-DMR
PS Sorry this isn’t more upbeat and happy. Some posts are just like that.
These gray and latter days….
I hate the gray of winter. I hate it I hate it I hate it. There is something about the color gray that is just evil. Neither black nor white nor color, it is a continual reminder of the mush of our lives, and of how one thing blends into another so much that you can’t tell the difference.
Life. Family. Work. Play. For many they are hard to tell apart. And the busier we get the more those lines become blurred and (ugh) gray. Add to that a little obsessive compulsive tendencies and the easy possibility of becoming overwhelmed, and you have a recipe for an interesting month.
Most pastors will tell you that December and January are when most of the family problems come to a head in the parish, and that it is the time when everyone’s difficulties rise to the surface. This, too, has the effect of graying and mushing everything together, especially for the pastor.
Pastors (all bravado notwithstanding) are generally compassionate people. Pastors have a tendency to put on a tough exterior more as a self-defense mechanism than anything else.
I’m not really good at mechanisms right now. I take everything personally when I am under stress, even things that aren’t directed at me. It drives me batty, which also makes me crazy.
So what do you do when life is gray, stress is high, and things are crashing in upon you? I’d like to hear from you.
-DMR
PS Sorry this isn’t more upbeat and happy. Some posts are just like that.
Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Depression
I can always tell when I’m getting over-stressed, depressed, or generally anxious about life. Why? Because I become obsessed about buying things. Sometimes they are things that we need as a family. Sometimes they are needed at church. Sometimes I just want them, good ole’ fashion covetousness.
Over the span of my illness I’ve found this as a returning theme. When things are out of control in my life, or I feel as though I’m losing a grip on reality, I find that buying stuff satisfies my compulsion for control, at least for a little while.
At the lowest point in my depression, I was spending money like Brad Pitt, buying whatever came to my mind whenever I wanted it. I always had a justification for it, because it helped my healing. Now insofar as having hobbies and distractions from everyday life is healthy (and it is), this whole process was and is a good thing, if kept in check. But it is when things to totally out of control that problems arise. Like massive credit card debt, allowing material things to serve as a barrier to those whom I love and tasks that I dread.
Add the grayness outside and the coming assault of winter, and you have a recipe for trouble.
Am I alone in this? I don’t think so. Given the rising credit card debt in our nation, and how depression means a void in fulfillment, this strikes me as a common problem afflicting Americans in general. We have the means to go 50k, 100k or more into debt quite easily, and I don’t mean by buying a house or a car.
So what do you do when you can tell the oncoming signs of coping mechanisms creeping their way in? Here’s a few tips.
- Recognize them for what they are. This is your mind and body telling you that things aren’t right, that something is missing, and that it needs to be filled. Sometimes that may result in buying something you need (or whatever your coping mechanism may be). Sometimes recognizing it for what it is will suffice.
- Recognize them for what they aren’t. They aren’t a sign that you are A) Going to hell; B) Abandoned by God; C) Just another cog in the great machine of American retail; D) A failure because you can’t control your impulses. Much like the body uses nerves to tell you when you are in pain, you mind may use these coping mechanisms to tell you that something is wrong. Don’t make it more than it is.
- Recognize you for who you are. You are baptized. You are in Christ and Christ is in you. This is true whether you have goofy compulsions or not. This is true even though Satan may use these compulsions to lead you into sin.
- Find someone to talk this through with you. This could be a counselor, but it could be your pastor or a friend. But don’t let this just fester inside you. That will not help.
Anyway, those are a few random thoughts on Cyber Monday. I think I’ll go check out what’s on sale at Amazon…
-DMR
Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Depression
I can always tell when I’m getting over-stressed, depressed, or generally anxious about life. Why? Because I become obsessed about buying things. Sometimes they are things that we need as a family. Sometimes they are needed at church. Sometimes I just want them, good ole’ fashion covetousness.
Over the span of my illness I’ve found this as a returning theme. When things are out of control in my life, or I feel as though I’m losing a grip on reality, I find that buying stuff satisfies my compulsion for control, at least for a little while.
At the lowest point in my depression, I was spending money like Brad Pitt, buying whatever came to my mind whenever I wanted it. I always had a justification for it, because it helped my healing. Now insofar as having hobbies and distractions from everyday life is healthy (and it is), this whole process was and is a good thing, if kept in check. But it is when things to totally out of control that problems arise. Like massive credit card debt, allowing material things to serve as a barrier to those whom I love and tasks that I dread.
Add the grayness outside and the coming assault of winter, and you have a recipe for trouble.
Am I alone in this? I don’t think so. Given the rising credit card debt in our nation, and how depression means a void in fulfillment, this strikes me as a common problem afflicting Americans in general. We have the means to go 50k, 100k or more into debt quite easily, and I don’t mean by buying a house or a car.
So what do you do when you can tell the oncoming signs of coping mechanisms creeping their way in? Here’s a few tips.
- Recognize them for what they are. This is your mind and body telling you that things aren’t right, that something is missing, and that it needs to be filled. Sometimes that may result in buying something you need (or whatever your coping mechanism may be). Sometimes recognizing it for what it is will suffice.
- Recognize them for what they aren’t. They aren’t a sign that you are A) Going to hell; B) Abandoned by God; C) Just another cog in the great machine of American retail; D) A failure because you can’t control your impulses. Much like the body uses nerves to tell you when you are in pain, you mind may use these coping mechanisms to tell you that something is wrong. Don’t make it more than it is.
- Recognize you for who you are. You are baptized. You are in Christ and Christ is in you. This is true whether you have goofy compulsions or not. This is true even though Satan may use these compulsions to lead you into sin.
- Find someone to talk this through with you. This could be a counselor, but it could be your pastor or a friend. But don’t let this just fester inside you. That will not help.
Anyway, those are a few random thoughts on Cyber Monday. I think I’ll go check out what’s on sale at Amazon…
-DMR
The Eye Exam
It always amazes me what can set me off or make me a nervous crazy wreck. For the most part I’ve been doing well, busy with projects and continuing to ruminate on the book. But today I had a weird experience. I had an eye exam (hence I am four feet away from the monitor). This is really a pretty benign experience, but it left me a complete basket case. I was nervous, figity, fearful, and felt that the world was closing in on me. How is it that such a simple thing as an eye exam can set this off?
Last week I had a similar experience with a hospital call. It was routine as far as hospital calls go. The Sacrament, some hymns, the Gospel of healing to a hurting so. It’s all good. But it left me spent far more than I would expect from one hospital call. I was highly agitated afterwards, and it drove me bonkers.
Why is it that such simple things can be so very hard and take so long to recover from?
-DMR
Signs
Well, I’m back from paralysis. I know you were all worried. Upon reflection and some conversations with my counselor, I have come to recognize what may be obvious to you, and may not: there are almost always signs on why you get stuck in the rut of paralysis.
What do I mean?
What I mean is that as I step back and examine what is going on in my life, I can almost always pinpoint why I am having a hard day, or I seem to be stuck in the fog. Here are some of the way of doing some self-examination:
- What has changed in your life? This can be big or little, scheduling issues, watching the kids more (or less), meetings, etc.
- How are you sleeping? If your sleeping pattern has changed, that can certainly have an effect.
- Related to number one, are there either short or long-term stressors that can be weighing on your mind?
By identifying what is it that is causing your spiral, this will lesson the spiral, give you focus on what to pray for, and will help you to figure out if any of those causes can be removd, redirected, or postponed.
For myself, I know that I can be worrying about things that are weeks or even months ahead, both known and unknown. They can weigh you down and play right into Satan’s hand of robbing you of the hope in Christ which we share by Holy Baptism.
Keep at it, friends. Don’t be afraid. Our Lord suffers with you, and He will not abandon you in your time of need.
-DMR
Signs
Well, I’m back from paralysis. I know you were all worried. Upon reflection and some conversations with my counselor, I have come to recognize what may be obvious to you, and may not: there are almost always signs on why you get stuck in the rut of paralysis.
What do I mean?
What I mean is that as I step back and examine what is going on in my life, I can almost always pinpoint why I am having a hard day, or I seem to be stuck in the fog. Here are some of the way of doing some self-examination:
- What has changed in your life? This can be big or little, scheduling issues, watching the kids more (or less), meetings, etc.
- How are you sleeping? If your sleeping pattern has changed, that can certainly have an effect.
- Related to number one, are there either short or long-term stressors that can be weighing on your mind?
By identifying what is it that is causing your spiral, this will lesson the spiral, give you focus on what to pray for, and will help you to figure out if any of those causes can be removd, redirected, or postponed.
For myself, I know that I can be worrying about things that are weeks or even months ahead, both known and unknown. They can weigh you down and play right into Satan’s hand of robbing you of the hope in Christ which we share by Holy Baptism.
Keep at it, friends. Don’t be afraid. Our Lord suffers with you, and He will not abandon you in your time of need.
-DMR