Category Archives: depression

depression, Pastoral Office, pharmacology

Pastoral Care and Depression

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Last night I had a pastoral care visit with a parishioner.  She came from another parish in town (not LCMS, although it could have been).  She was nervous, fearful, on the edge of tears and yet strangely numb, like she wasn’t all there.  I recognized the signs.

She came to tell me that she was in an outpatient mental health program for clinical depression.  The reason she came to tell me was because she wanted to make sure she wasn’t sinning by being in this program or by taking anti-depressants.  You see, her previous pastor had  told her individually and from the pulpit that it is “sinful and wrong” for Christians to take anti-depressants or see psychiatrists and psychologists.  Because we are Christians, we have no need to be depressed, and should be joyful all the time, because Jesus died for us.

We had a long talk, prayed, heard the Word of God together, and I worked hard to dispel the destructive words of her previous pastor.  It will take a long time for it to sink in.  She feels guilty because she is undergoing medical treatment.  Good grief.

If this is the stigma and gunk that our parishioners have to deal with from us, imagine how hard we pastors are on each other?  I think that many parish pastors view those of us who has suffered from clinical depression as damaged goods, weak, with some kind of serious moral failing.  Suffering from depression is somehow unmanly.  Real men don’t have mental problems.  They just think that way.

God help our parishioners who suffer from our false understanding of mental illness.  God help us when we judge and condemn one another needlessly.  God help me when I want to throttle someone for being such an idiot.  God help me.

-DMR

depression

The Tried Soul

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Rev. Esget over at Esgetology just made a wonderful post on depression. I would urge you to go read it. His comment about not viewing depression as a moral failure is right on. So often depression is seen as fundamentally a faith issue. I just don’t buy it. There are biological factors, physiological factors, and yes, spiritual factors. But we do a great disservice to those in need by making this all about the Law and unbelief.

-DMR

depression

Spiritual Poverty

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It is amazing how often in the Scriptures poverty is extolled. This doesn’t mean a lack of wealth, but rather the poverty of Spirit of which our Lord speaks of in the sermon on the mount (Matthew 6). This coming Sunday we have the story of Lazarus and the rich man (Luke 16:19-31), and the contrast between riches and poverty is once again held up. In the words of Luther, we are all beggars, this is true.

So what does this have to do with mental illness? A number of things come to mind:

  • Being poor in spirit is not the same as a pity party. Those of us who suffer from depression are experts at pity parties. When our Lord speaks of being poor in spirit, he talks about knowing where and whom to trust. Trust not in princes, they are but mortal. My heart and my flesh fail me (Ps. 73:26). Commit your way to the Lord and do not lean on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Being poor in spirt, like our Lord, like Lazarus, like the saints of old, means recognizing that all of our gifts come from our heavenly Father’s divine merciful hand.
  • A lack of riches does not equal richness in faith. One can be both monetarily poor and spiritually poor at the same time. Greed and avarice afflict the rich and the poor alike.
  • Mental illness lends itself to believing that God has abandoned you. Think of poor Lazarus. How could he not believe God had abandoned him? One could also think of Job, Elijah, and many others. Appearances, however, are deceiving. God does not abandon you because things stink. Our Lord Jesus Christ becomes poor with you, so that you may be rich in Him.

Just a few thoughts for the day. Now it’s time to go try and pay some bills. Now THAT’S depressing….

children, depression

Fathers, Children and Depression

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I ran across THIS LINK in my morning reads.  The study concludes that depression in fathers has an adverse affect on a child’s language development, because they spend less time with newborn children.

i haven’t found that to be the case (yet) in our family.  I suppose time will tell.

And for those who monitor my posting, I haven’t posted for a month.  I’m doing okay.  Just crazy busy right now.  I’ll get in the swing of things here soon.

-DMR

depression, Disability

Longing for the fleshpots of Egypt

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Ex. 16:1   They set out from Elim, and all the congregation of the people of Israel came to the wilderness of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had departed from the land of Egypt. 2 And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, 3 and the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”

I find myself longing to go on disability again, from time to time.  When things get crazy, when the pressure is on, when I feel like I can’t handle all of the stress, I long for the fleshpots of Egypt.  “Would that I could go back to lying around sleeping all day!  Would that I could go back to no responsibilities, free to do whatever I want or feel!  Would that I could ignore my family, my wife, my children, my church, my friends, my everything!  Oh things would be so much better then!”

Have you felt that way?  I have.  I get that way when the going gets tough.  I get that way when I just plain don’t want to deal with the stuff of life.  I want to run.  I want to hide.  I want people to LEAVE ME ALONE and not bother me. Oh how I long for the good ole’ days of being sick.

Of course, what I forget is the despair which was my constant companion.  I forget not being able to move, feeling like I lived in molasses, and that I couldn’t string two thoughts together.  I forget that I couldn’t be in a “crowd” of more than about one person.  I forget the suicidal thoughts, the darkness that covered me, and the utter impotence of life under the weight of depression.  I forget these things only too easily.

God has blessed me with healing and hope.  He has given my a family who loves me, a church who loves me, and many friends who have been there through everything.  He has given me all of this, and more.  He has given me His Son, who has gone down into the depths of despair and abandonment for me.  He has given me His Holy Spirit, who comforts me when I am faint, and who prays with me and for me, even if I have not the words.  All this and more He gives me.

What He gives to me, He gives to you.  Do not be afraid of the darkness.

-DMR

depression

Losing Weight & Depression

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One of the many things that went in the tank when I got sick three years ago was my general health. There was a time (quite literally!) when my wife and I would run marathons. Okay, so I ran one marathon, but she’s run a bunch. When I got sick, physical health took an absolute back seat to mental health. What that mean is that i ballooned up about 60 pounds, which has caused a host of other problems with my feet, back, etc etc etc.

So now that I’m off of most of my medication, my wife and I decided it is time to begin losing this weight and reclaim another part of our lives.

The way that we have been most successful at eating well has been Weight Watchers. It’s concrete, they set limits and freedoms, and we have had a great deal of success with them over the years.

One of the things that is important about WW is attending the meetings every week. They are somewhat similar in nature to an AA or NA meeting, although I doubt they would ever admit it. So as I was sitting in our meeting this past week, I was struck with the parallels between losing weight and fighting depression. Here are some of the ones that popped into my head:

  1. Triggers. Certain events can serve as triggers for depressive behavior. The key is to A) recognize what they are and B) Develop strategies to either avoid the triggers or how to deal with them in less destructive ways.
  2. Take each day at a time. I know that for myself, I tend to globalize things. If I am having a bad day, it really doesn’t take much for me to convert that into a bad week or month or year. True for food, true for mental health. By looking at each day in itself, it helps one to keep focused, and minimizes the down times. “Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
  3. Plan. By acting in a purely reactionary mode, you can easily be caught off guard and get stuck in a worse situation that is really necessary. Recognize your limits and your strengths, and evaluate on that basis.

Those are three off the top of my head. Any others come to mind?

-DMR

depression

How Quickly Things Change

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I’m often amazed at how quickly things can change, for either better or worse. I remember a month ago or so I was seriously sick with the flu bug that has been EVERYWHERE this year. I had been sick for about two weeks. As I was complaining to a friend of my, I said, “This is the worst winter I’ve ever had!”

“Really?,” he said. “You’ve had a pretty bad couple of years here.”

It kind of set me back. I have had a few pretty wretched winters. We’re coming up upon Good Friday here soon. I can remember a couple years ago when things were about as dark as they could be, that I seriously contemplated suicide. Now that is a bad winter.

Things are going well for me. They really are. The problems that I have are blissfully normal. Sick. Kids. Pastoral stuff. Life. It’s good. I’m glad for it. But I never want to forget what it took to get here.