Category Archives: depression

depression, family, stimulation

Not understood

6 Comments

I’m visiting with a parishoner the other day, I was struck once again by how completely misunderstood clinical depression is, in all of its various forms.  This parishoner felt terribly guilty because he couldn’t spend any time with his family.  He felt selfish that he had to spend so much of his time nad energy just on being able to function in a normal way.  Two hours with the kids might mean 10 hours of time alone wiht quiet and no stress.

Was this person being selfish?  No!  They are sick.  When you are sick there are certain things you need to do in order to get well.  If you are talking about chronic sickness, there are certain things you can do, and others that you simply can’t.  It isn’t a sign of moral failure.  It is a sign of the fallenness and general sickness of our world and our own bodies.  I urged this person to remember that they are doing what they do in order to get better.  They are doing it so that they can fulfill their vocations as husband and father and worker.  They aren’t being selfish.  Far from it. They are being selfless.

It is easy when you are in the midst of the darkenss to think that you are coddling yourself by having to spend so much time alone and in little or no stress situations.  When I was on disability, I played 157 rounds of golf.  It took a lot of time, it cost a fortune, and I absolutely needed it. Why?  Quiet.  No family, no church, no email, no outside distractions, no stimulation beyond what was right in from of me.  I’m sure there were more economical ways to do it.  But this was my way.  It worked.

So if you are in the midst of the darkness, don’t feel guilty about doing what you need to do to get better.  You are doing them so that you will be able to be with your family and friends again.  You are doing them so that you can serve you neighbor as best as you are able.  And God is with you, will cover up your weaknesses, and use you to His glory and for the welfare of many.  Including your family and friends.

-DMR

depression, Pastoral Office

A Sham

7 Comments

When I get depressed, I feel like a fake.

I get tired easy.  I can’t write sermons.  I don’t want to prepare for bible class.  I don’t want to see or talk to people.  I don’t want to do anything at all.

All of which raises the question for me, why am I a pastor?

I know it’s a phase.  I know it will pass.  But it just keeps happening.  I want somebody to slap me and say SNAP OUT OF IT!  Of course, it doesn’t work that way.  I wish I knew the formula.  X amount of sleep plus Y amount of quiet time plus Z amount of no stress equals slump gone.

So what is the formula?  Will someone tell me the secret?

Thanks,

-DMR

depression, Pastoral Office

A Sham

6 Comments

When I get depressed, I feel like a fake.

I get tired easy.  I can’t write sermons.  I don’t want to prepare for bible class.  I don’t want to see or talk to people.  I don’t want to do anything at all.

All of which raises the question for me, why am I a pastor?

I know it’s a phase.  I know it will pass.  But it just keeps happening.  I want somebody to slap me and say SNAP OUT OF IT!  Of course, it doesn’t work that way.  I wish I knew the formula.  X amount of sleep plus Y amount of quiet time plus Z amount of no stress equals slump gone.

So what is the formula?  Will someone tell me the secret?

Thanks,

-DMR

depression, suicide

Physician Assisted Suicide and Depression in Oregon

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Kudos to First Things for bringing this article to my attention on the astonishing rate of physician assisted suicides that have an association with clinical depression.  Here’s the pertinent portion:

In 2007, none of the 46 people in Oregon who used physician-assisted suicide were evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist, the news release said.

For the new study, researchers at Oregon Health and Sciences University checked for depression or anxiety in 58 terminally ill patients who’d requested physician-assisted suicide or had contacted an assisted death organization. Fifteen of the patients met the criteria for depression and 13 for anxiety.

By the end of the study, 42 patients had died. Of those, 18 received a prescription for a lethal medication, and nine died by lethal ingestion. Of those who received a prescription for a lethal medication, three met the criteria for depression. All three died by lethal ingestion within two months of being assessed by researchers.

Luther is credited with saying that those who commit suicide are akin to someone who has been overcome by robbers in the woods.  In this case the robbers are the very doctors who should be healing them.  It is despicable to the point of incredulity that it would actually be legal to help someone with clinical depression commit suicide.  I’m not sure how that qualifies as Death with Dignity.  I would say that is more like Death by Evil Design.

You can tell the level of civilization of a nation by how it treats the helpless in her midst.  Between abortion and euthaniasia we are slipping into barbarism more every day.

Talk about depressing.  Lord, have mercy on us.

anxiety, children, depression, family, stress

Watching the Kids

6 Comments

I told my wife a few weeks ago that I thought watching and taking care of children was way harder than being a pastor.  She then told me it was the nicest thing I had ever said to her.

I wasn’t actually trying to get points mit my frau.  I really think that’s true.  Certainly some of the time, maybe even most of the time.

When I was at the height (depth?) of my sickness, it was our children that I couldn’t handle more than anything else.  I’ve blogged a few times about my travails with shut-ins, but really it is children that require a lot more emotional energy, I think.

I bring this up because today I watched our kids.  All of them, for about 4 hours.  I know, that doesn’t sound like much.  Some of them were napping for part of the time, and they were all there and full bore for a little more than an hour.  The thing is, I’m not certain I have watched all of our kids on my own since I came off of disability.  Maybe I have.  But I was glad to be able to do it and not have a complete meltdown in the process.

I love our children.  That isn’t the issue.  The issue is one of responsibility, stimulation, and the ability to process and do on-the-spot problem solving.  None of these things really go well with sufferers of depression.  So I counted today a great victory.  Yes, it was just four hours.  Yes, my saintly wife does it for about 20 hours a day every day.  I don’t know how she does it.  But today, I’ll rejoice in what healing God grants, and prays that it may continue.

Mothers of the world, I salute you.

-DMR

anxiety, children, depression, family, stress

Watching the Kids

3 Comments

I told my wife a few weeks ago that I thought watching and taking care of children was way harder than being a pastor.  She then told me it was the nicest thing I had ever said to her.

I wasn’t actually trying to get points mit my frau.  I really think that’s true.  Certainly some of the time, maybe even most of the time.

When I was at the height (depth?) of my sickness, it was our children that I couldn’t handle more than anything else.  I’ve blogged a few times about my travails with shut-ins, but really it is children that require a lot more emotional energy, I think.

I bring this up because today I watched our kids.  All of them, for about 4 hours.  I know, that doesn’t sound like much.  Some of them were napping for part of the time, and they were all there and full bore for a little more than an hour.  The thing is, I’m not certain I have watched all of our kids on my own since I came off of disability.  Maybe I have.  But I was glad to be able to do it and not have a complete meltdown in the process.

I love our children.  That isn’t the issue.  The issue is one of responsibility, stimulation, and the ability to process and do on-the-spot problem solving.  None of these things really go well with sufferers of depression.  So I counted today a great victory.  Yes, it was just four hours.  Yes, my saintly wife does it for about 20 hours a day every day.  I don’t know how she does it.  But today, I’ll rejoice in what healing God grants, and prays that it may continue.

Mothers of the world, I salute you.

-DMR

depression, Pastoral Office, pharmacology

Pastoral Care and Depression

6 Comments

Last night I had a pastoral care visit with a parishioner.  She came from another parish in town (not LCMS, although it could have been).  She was nervous, fearful, on the edge of tears and yet strangely numb, like she wasn’t all there.  I recognized the signs.

She came to tell me that she was in an outpatient mental health program for clinical depression.  The reason she came to tell me was because she wanted to make sure she wasn’t sinning by being in this program or by taking anti-depressants.  You see, her previous pastor had  told her individually and from the pulpit that it is “sinful and wrong” for Christians to take anti-depressants or see psychiatrists and psychologists.  Because we are Christians, we have no need to be depressed, and should be joyful all the time, because Jesus died for us.

We had a long talk, prayed, heard the Word of God together, and I worked hard to dispel the destructive words of her previous pastor.  It will take a long time for it to sink in.  She feels guilty because she is undergoing medical treatment.  Good grief.

If this is the stigma and gunk that our parishioners have to deal with from us, imagine how hard we pastors are on each other?  I think that many parish pastors view those of us who has suffered from clinical depression as damaged goods, weak, with some kind of serious moral failing.  Suffering from depression is somehow unmanly.  Real men don’t have mental problems.  They just think that way.

God help our parishioners who suffer from our false understanding of mental illness.  God help us when we judge and condemn one another needlessly.  God help me when I want to throttle someone for being such an idiot.  God help me.

-DMR